i'm not that strong :)

Assalamualaikum bloggy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahhaa mcm dh lmbat je nk announce this thing but IB is overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! 16th of May ari tu. after paper econs.

bile dh abis exam, dpt result. Dengan takdir Allah S.W.T. , isha failed. dpt 30, feeling so stupid like hell.hahahah

To be completely honest, i seriously was having thoughts to kill myself for approximately 5-10 minutes. Such a fool, I am. Nangis sket kt mak. Kesian, mak risau. After all those thoughts, tetibe dpt ilham dr Allah S.W.T. utk baca Yassin supaya strong balik. After that, mmg dgn nekadnya, went to klcc and had a meeting with Kak Zahirah and En Norman. rse lega sbb xterminate. Mak minta maaf sbb mak ada gak doa supaya x g sbb xnk berjauh so soon. It's ok mak, Isha fhm :)

after meeting tu, call mak. mak pesan buat je apa isha nak today. let it all out. mak xkn restrain. Bagitau mak pasal A. hahahahahha mak happy sbb finally anak sulung dye ni dh mule fikir nk seriously view guys as other than friends or crushes. blinded by perasaan yg kacau-bilau, i confessed. Alhamdulillah the feeling is mutual. Happy :)

isha seriously tanak g btn tp mak n abah suruh.to complete my task as a Petronas scholar. Mak, Abah, Isha xkuat. nape suruh isha pegi btn gak? it was so painful but being someone with little tears (which some girls consider it cool but IT IS SO NOT COOL BECAUSE IT WAS SO PAINFUL TO NOT BE ABLE TO CRY YOUR HEART OUT), i just could not cry. I also could not say no to them. I went to the btn thingy.

all those talks about program transformasi bla bla really hurt me. many people ( i mean it when i said many) asked how o felt. people, boleh x jgn tanya soalan yg mmg dh tau jawapan? hahahahahhahaha mst r sedey. but crying is not gonna change anything. better move on cepat2 je. me? poker face? nmpk sgt xknl sgt diri isha ni. i'm not good in hiding emotions.

I was having many thoughts waktu nk attend graduation. Boleh plak si S ckp," Nisha, cbe ko consider perasaan org lain when you are making decisions?" what the f!!!! " ada pernah korg consider feelings aq when korg sume excited cite psl oversea? ad ke? " i replied with a forced smile. she said sorry. It's ok, I understand. like i said, i'm not that strong.

well, ad gak happy things yg occured in my life after result. Hikmah Allah rasanya. Next post k?

Still gaining strength,

Isha :)