this is ...scary!

Nisha, this is bad. 

what if you like him more than him liking you?????

andwehh!! nehi!!!Wuargh!!! malu gell!!!!!!!!!!

That should not happen. In the end, you just gonna hurt yourself.

so, Nisha, control your freaking feeling!!

hee, memalukan je!

till next post,

Isha

i'm not that strong :)

Assalamualaikum bloggy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahhaa mcm dh lmbat je nk announce this thing but IB is overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! 16th of May ari tu. after paper econs.

bile dh abis exam, dpt result. Dengan takdir Allah S.W.T. , isha failed. dpt 30, feeling so stupid like hell.hahahah

To be completely honest, i seriously was having thoughts to kill myself for approximately 5-10 minutes. Such a fool, I am. Nangis sket kt mak. Kesian, mak risau. After all those thoughts, tetibe dpt ilham dr Allah S.W.T. utk baca Yassin supaya strong balik. After that, mmg dgn nekadnya, went to klcc and had a meeting with Kak Zahirah and En Norman. rse lega sbb xterminate. Mak minta maaf sbb mak ada gak doa supaya x g sbb xnk berjauh so soon. It's ok mak, Isha fhm :)

after meeting tu, call mak. mak pesan buat je apa isha nak today. let it all out. mak xkn restrain. Bagitau mak pasal A. hahahahahha mak happy sbb finally anak sulung dye ni dh mule fikir nk seriously view guys as other than friends or crushes. blinded by perasaan yg kacau-bilau, i confessed. Alhamdulillah the feeling is mutual. Happy :)

isha seriously tanak g btn tp mak n abah suruh.to complete my task as a Petronas scholar. Mak, Abah, Isha xkuat. nape suruh isha pegi btn gak? it was so painful but being someone with little tears (which some girls consider it cool but IT IS SO NOT COOL BECAUSE IT WAS SO PAINFUL TO NOT BE ABLE TO CRY YOUR HEART OUT), i just could not cry. I also could not say no to them. I went to the btn thingy.

all those talks about program transformasi bla bla really hurt me. many people ( i mean it when i said many) asked how o felt. people, boleh x jgn tanya soalan yg mmg dh tau jawapan? hahahahahhahaha mst r sedey. but crying is not gonna change anything. better move on cepat2 je. me? poker face? nmpk sgt xknl sgt diri isha ni. i'm not good in hiding emotions.

I was having many thoughts waktu nk attend graduation. Boleh plak si S ckp," Nisha, cbe ko consider perasaan org lain when you are making decisions?" what the f!!!! " ada pernah korg consider feelings aq when korg sume excited cite psl oversea? ad ke? " i replied with a forced smile. she said sorry. It's ok, I understand. like i said, i'm not that strong.

well, ad gak happy things yg occured in my life after result. Hikmah Allah rasanya. Next post k?

Still gaining strength,

Isha :)

guys~

annyeong bloggyyyy!!!!

how're u?

hehhehe i know u miss me right?teehee~

sorry,not in the right state of mind right now.

today,mmg x productive langsung.

tgk korea je keje.hahah

naseb bek dh abis english.

tp still,ad maths IA!!!!eottoke!!

ok~

regarding this entry.dont worry its just gonna be a short one :)

hahahha its not that i hv something long to talk about.

for the past few months, there were two guys who stupidly bothered my mind.

first is A.he was such a 'nice' guy.sweet talker.

like a typical girl,for some stupid reasons, i liked his sweet talks.

damn u,sweet talks!hahaahhahaha

i've been mislead,i shouldnt like him.because..he already has someone else in his heart.

im sorry but i'm feeling like a fool now ni because u acted so sweet to me n im not cool enough to ignore that.

but u used to told me that 'im single.btul2 single!'

ntahpape je.honestly, dont act sweet to a girl if u dont mean it!!!!i'll cause misunderstanding.

its official.i really hate sweet talkers with all my heart!!!!!

just when i started to open up for guys,this hateful thing happen!

i think for now,...i kinda hate guys,

second guy, J. he is so nice.

but i dragged him into a game.

i'm scared whether i've burdened him or not.

i asked R to ask him and he said he is not burdened.

lega~:)

he likes me as a friend.good,i can finally reaffirm myself too :)

i feel absolutely stupid for talking about guys!!!!!!!

i think hlovate is right.

'guys are stupid.some men too.throw rocks at them. pots n pans too!!!!'

for now, i really100x hate guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lets hope it'll change.i want to get married too~hehehe

later.taa~ :)

that day~

that day,thursday,12th may 2011!

it was my most unluckiest day~

i remember it well.why, because that's the day when my heart was shattered to pieces,(figuratively)..

i woke up late,as usual.(duh~)

went to school with rouxin.

arrived quite late to school.

we were supposed to start our chem IA today.i actually asked atin to tell the lab's person to prepare all the materials and apparatus.

i was so mad because nearly all apparatus are damaged!!grrr!

sbr je la~

but then because of that, its quite amusing to see how atin n alethea tried to cheer me up:)

love u guys :)

the second disaster was i was very mad at r for getting close to j.

Oh God, if only i know that i am going to face this horrible feeling, i should not started this game in the first place.i was like..please r..its just a game ok...

whatever..

the third thing was regarding the trip.

i'm just a minor organizer.but i think that i also deserved to know what is going on.

being a touchy, i am.

i know that maybe she is more comfortable with her because..well..they work together..

i dont know who am i to them.whatever..

just forget it n start a new life.n........just dont open up ur self too much to people because somehow they are gonna hurt u.

and the last thing is i've decided to forget him

the moment i knew he chatted with her,i knew it.

he's still one of those unforgivable sweet-talker..

guys r stupid.some men too.

throw rocks at them.pot n pans too.

-hlovate-

later.taa~ :)

dear~

bloggy dear!!!! how're u?

me?not that good,not that bad..

if u ask me what is going on in my mind right now, i wont be able to provide an answer coz i myself are not sure on what is going on in my mind right now.

if i were to be asked on what i mostly want to do now, i would say that i want to go for a vacation!! hehehe and if possible,alone..

not that i want to run from reality.its just that i want to have time for myself. although its kinda nonsense,i dont care.i want to go to a place that nobody will find me and i can be as free as possible,

hahahhaha.escapism??kinda~

hmm currently,..possible solution to this unknown feeling is maybe...i need something interesting to happen in my life right now!

shuush!!dont say IB! yes, IB is interesting..so interesting to the point that i cant help but to always think about my beloved IB life..aigoo.hahah :)

Ya Allah, Kau tolonglah hamba Mu ini. beri pedoman kepada diriku supaya aku tidak berasa kekosongan lagi. ceriakan diriku Ya Allah :) amin..

huhuhu lets hope that something interesting will occur in my life soon..lau x, i boleh mati kebosanan dgn study je ni~

hehehe till we meet again,taa~ :)

thanks fendi :)

bloggy,i told u earlier that i got to msk final for syarahan kn?

well, last week was the competition.

heheheh my title is ketamadunan pasak keamanan.

fendi helped A LOT!!!!

thanks to him r i dpt built my courage to go up there and talked in front of secondary kids yang i xbrapa suka~hahah

fendi mmg ajar sehabis baik.even the way i bce pantun pun, dye ajar.

'seroja hutan subur di Bentan.

diteman rerama terbang ceria

bahtera aman dibadai cabaran

di tangan kita nasib bahtera'

mmg try my best to dptkn his lenggok pantun.every morning dgr his voice bce pantun yg i recorded through my phone.hahahah mcm agak..pelik~hahahahahha

tried my best to hafal mati-matian.hope sgt x cuak n gugup atas stage.hahah even practiced dgn angah although kitorg competed against each other gak.hahah

on the day, i ws so nervous sbb bygkn i'm the first one to go n talk.mst r cuak.

rse mcm nk tarik diri je..tp maruah babe!!hahah egoistic i am.

mse tu mmg buat je.yg penting cpt habis.sgt glad sbb x gagap n nmpk smooth.heheheh

then the rest pun gave their speeches.

mybe Allah mudahkan perjalanan hidup isha.Alhamdulillah sgt sbb dpt 1st.mmg unexpected giler.hahahahha dh r mse price giving ceremony tertukar hadiah dpt yg third.adoi~klaka plak :)

alhamdulillah Allah berpihak pada isha. walupun i'm not that good, Allah ttp tolong isha.mybe sbb isha btul2 doa.alhamdulillah.terima kasih Ya Allah :)

isha lega semua dh abis.now ni kene focus on IB.insyaAllah:) nk fly!!!

aja aja fighting!! nisha fighting!!!woot woot!!

purple tulip!

cintaku berputik

walaupun hanya semalam kita kenali

bicaramu menyentuh hati

tiada lagi kesedihan di hati ini

tapi ku tak pasti

apa kau rasai

mungkin semua ini hanya mimpi

*cintaku di taman

penuh dengan warna

hatiku bertanya dimanakah dia

kerana ku petik satu

tulip berwarna ungu

hanya untukmu,sayangku~

pada malam itu

lidahku kelu badanku menjadi kaku

oh mata bertentangan mata

jantung berdegup hatiku rasa gembira

tapi aku malu

senyumanmu itu

memanah hati menusuk kalbu

repeat *

walaupun hanya semalam kenali

tetapi hatiku masih berkata ku tak pasti

bila kau meluahkan

kata yang ku impikan

cinta kita mula mekar sempurna

repeat*

hanya untukmu,sayangku~

credit to my beloved housemates for such an awesome song. they said that this song is specifically wrote for me because they know what is happening in my heart right now~

teehee~saranghae !